On Doing Actual Work (don't laugh)

It has seriously been way too long, hasn't it.

Disclosure: this post contains writing from a very rusty blogger trying to scrape off the rust. Prettiness not guaranteed.

It's the end of the school year, and you know what that means. Motivation levels are off the charts. And by off the charts, I mean below the x-axis. Too low to be accounted for.

Accurate graph of student motivation

(notice how I didn't cite a source? It's cause I made the graphic myself HECK YEAH)

(okay I'm done it was my first time I had to)

These days (and most days) it's just so easy to push things off to the side. To me, the word procrastination has sort of become diluted; I've become desensitized to it just because I use it and do it and live it so often. Mentally clearing things off the table has become a habit to the point where I'll be reading an article about ways to use mint when it has overrun your urban windowsill garden when I should be studying for AP exams. I'll ask "Why am I doing this?" and answer "Because it feels right." 

Source

You know that feeling: when the thought of doing something pressing and actual (like writing a blog post *coughs violently*) is just so huge that you'd much rather sit in your bubble of contentment and internet self-help tinged with shame. It's not simply a matter of avoiding real work anymore; it's just habit. 

And as we all know, habits make or break you.

Source

That's why I've tried to simplify my self-expectations for getting things done in the hopes that my productivity level will at least increase by some tangible amount. (The good thing about being at the bottom is that you can only go up.) I realized that a lot of what stops me from doing anything at all is the terrifying prospect of some tasks in themselves; I don't want to reply to that urgent email simply because it's urgent, but the more I put it off, the stickier and scarier it becomes. 

Here's the secret: just start!

I realized this when I finally began a monstrous physics packet after days of stressing out and doing absolutely nothing about it. After I started, I felt much better and capable of actually making progress. Getting just the smallest bit done liberates you enough for you to finish.

That's partially why I'm writing now. Posting became this heavy thing that got harder and harder the more I waited. So I stopped waiting. :)

Hopefully my own beginning-in-an-attempt-to-continue helps you out a little bit with your own productivity struggles. Stay strong, interneters; go open that textbook, respond to that email, return that call, start that herb garden (mint is actual very sustainable in a setting with limited space like an apartment and it's also tasty and versatile I would know). 

Enjoy loveliness and remember to muse!